my recent catastrophies

So, yesterday I was on my way to class. I was coming from the Sprocket and headed down Sparkman past technology drive (where dad works). As I was trying to get into the far right lane I noticed a package or something in the far left turning lane. On second glance I discovered that it was a duck. He was just sitting there in the turning lane. I figured the duck must have been hit since they don't just sit in traffic. Since there was no traffic directly behind me and the turning lane was stopped at a red light, I pulled across and stopped the car across the two far left lanes, put it in park and hopped out to get him. He just sat there watching me. So I walked over, grabbed him and he squirmed out. He was smart enough not to walk into oncoming traffic, but he walked under the back side of the van in front of me. I watched and realized that I could shoo him out and grab him. Taking note that it would be better to get a good hold of him and forget about trying not to hurt him, I lunged and grabbed him by the throat and wing and bear hugged him over to the car. After unsuccessfully trying th back door I just opened the front and threw him in. He and I were both noticably shaken, but I think the lady in the black car behind me enjoyed it tremendously. He sat on the front seat all fallen over and panting while I drove, on my new diverted route, to class. The whole way I was trying to decide where to get a box and how to explain to mom and dad why we had a new pet for a while. I really wanted to keep him- Dad, let's move to the country. So, as I was nearing the school, he started standing up. I had rubbed his neck and back at a stop light and it didn't feel as though he were unsound. He walked about the seat for a while and about the time I got to the building I take the class in, I felt free to rub his head as he had been standing staring at me for a fairly long time. This did not bide well with him and he turned and flew up against the passenger window. Feathers everywhere. I reached over and pushed him down, turned to look into my left hand turn and noticed a blond haired girl laughing at me and my teacher staring blankely. Great. So, I decided if he was so strong and sound enough to flap his wings like that then he could go back to the lake where he came from in the first place. When I finally got him to the lake, I opened the door and expected him to rush out. Instead he sat there. Large amounts of coaxing did not move him, so I eventually had to just scoop him out. He ran for a few paces and then walked in a dignified way on his way to the lake. His only symptoms were a bloody face, so I think he is fine. It might have been worse.
Well, this morning it got worse.
I got in the car after my Microbio class and lab and was alarmed by the atrocious smell that had ousted the usual semi-pleasant airfreshener smell I am used to. Something had fermented. Didn't take very long to place the smell. It was apple cider in my Coast Guard bottle (semper paratus). Three days old. I found out that the top of the bottle leaks when I tried to shake it night a while back. It leaked in the car too. Alot. The day before it had fallen into the container under the armrest up front. I think there is a law that if you have something that is really disgusting, you have to dump it in the hardest to clean spot in the smallest enclosure you will spend extended time in; like a Ford Taurus. So I spent about an hour cleaning out all kinds of nasty things that have been hanging out there for a very long time I think. All were now soaked in fermented apple cider. On top of that, the center seat belt was wrapped in that container and was soaked too. And there is a fake carpet material in the bottom of the container to catch and grow any stuff that you drop down there. Yuck. I really Really REALLY wanted to throw up. I was lucky and found that the container is removeable and spent at least twenty minutes in the bathroom soaking and soaping and scrubbing it and it just refused to come clean. But eventually the water came out kindof clear and I still have a future appointment to further scrub the seat belt, but it is looking better. I sprayed Bruce's two air fresheners to try and aleviate the pain of the smell. One is mountain fresh scent. I used to aspire to mountain climbing. The other is new car smell. It smells like a public restroom. I am serious, too. At least it does to me! SO right now the car is sitting with the windows down. I think it is getting better in there. But I still have to vaccuum out all the feathers.
I'm blaming the duck for all this.